With day-to-day activities, the children, and all your other obligations, you and your spouse barely have time to say two words to each other because you are so busy. When you do find some time, the tension is so high that all you manage to do is argue. You only seem to argue whenever you do find some time. You may begin to worry that you have a marriage in crisis. You may be glad to know that simply being currently out of touch with one another, is not enough to indicate that your marriage is in crisis.   Because you are concerned, now is the time to have a conversation with your spouse about how you feel. Now is also the time to look for other signs that may point to a marriage in crisis. Take a look at some of these signals, they can help you figure out whether the two of you are fine, or on the way to trouble:

* Little or no interest in spending time together – Your marriage could be headed for crisis, if one or both of you would prefer to spend time doing anything but being together. When your day-to-day activities, work obligations and time with your friends or children are used to fill your schedule (or your spouse’s) so you cannot spend time alone, there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

* Resentment toward or from your spouse – If you feel resentment towards your spouse or vice-versa, there is cause for alarm. There is no room for resentment in a healthy marriage. When you feel like you don’t like your spouse any longer because resentment has become overwhelming, you have a marriage in crisis.

* Intimacy is lacking – When you and your spouse go long stretches of time without expressing intimacy, this is a serious cause for concern. While not having sex doesn’t necessarily signal a marriage in crisis, a complete lack of intimacy might. The benefits from kissing, hugging and cuddling are important even to couples who have passed their sexual prime.

* Unable to communicate with each other – If you never have discussions without them turning into arguments, it is possible that you have a marriage in crisis. The opportunity for partners to share open and “safe” communications is a critical part of a strong, fulfilling and healthy partnership.

If you explore your situation and decide you and your spouse are heading for serious trouble, there are ways to head off the destruction of your marriage. Together you two can take a number of steps to set the wrongs right. The first thing you may want to do to repair damage in your relationship is to actually make the time to talk. Open up to your spouse about your concerns and create a two-way dialogue to address problems and share thoughts and ideas. To work together to solve the problems, you and your spouse need to listen to each other’s thoughts and feelings. When trying to broach your concerns, remember to use respectful communication skills. Stay away from threatening or accusing. Rather, work together for a resolution by stating your worries clearly, and listening to your spouse’s response. If your attempt at communication works, keep taking measures to spend more time together working things through. Couples do need time alone, even in busy lives. Even a single date night once every couple of weeks is better than nothing, so try to cut back on your obligations and help your spouse do the same. The alone time can help you both get back on track, learn to identify with each other again and regain a sense of appreciation for your relationship.

The warning signs of a marriage in crisis do not always herald an end to it. Together, the two of you can make a healthier, better and stronger marriage if you address your concerns now and your partner signs up to work on the problems with you.

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